Full disclosure: I am about to write about a book,TORN, in which I have written an essay. I am not the author of the whole book, and I do not receive any financial gain from the book being sold, but I am a contributor to the book. Today I watched a piece about working mothers on CBS News, all about whether working mothers make good mothers, and whether good mothers make good workers. The conclusion of this “news” piece is that if women have careers as opposed to “jobs” they tend to be happier and feel less guilt. News flash: Happy women seem to make good moms. Seems like a pretty obvious statement to me, and it really does not address the guilt that most working moms still feel, regardless of whether they are working because they absolutely need the money, or because they value their careers. I love my job. I am a career-focused person. I am lucky enough that if I really did not want to work full time, I would not have to. But I definitely would not be a happy woman if I did not have a career. This does not mean that I don’t value stay-at-home moms, and that I don’t wish sometimes I could be there 24 hours a day for my boys. But for me, in order to be a happy mommy, I need to feel satisfied with my career and my work. And if I am not happy, how could I be a really good mommy to my boys? But why is this news? Why are working mothers constantly feeling judged by our society, and studied, to see if they are indeed “good” mothers?
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