Something about the 3rd time around — maybe because I feel like I know what this is all about, I just can’t seem to get in gear and embrace the idea that at some point soon, I will need to stop traveling, and I will need to stop committing to after-hours events. I am currently 28 weeks pregnant, and in the next month, I need to just slow down a little bit, but I just can’t get behind the idea. There are a lot of great things going on in my business life, and I am not wanting to let go.
I have a potential speaking opportunity that would require a short flight at the end of October when I am approximately 34 weeks. My husband is not a fan of me taking this opportunity. My doctor said “it better be a really good opportunity.” Of course I would never risk the health of the baby. This means I most likely won’t consider this opportunity. But it’s hard to let go. I feel like during my last 2 pregnancies I was more ready to embrace the pregnancy at the end, and almost happy to bow out of work related events due to being very pregnant. Then of course during the last 2 pregnancies I was not the CEO at Palo Alto Software.
Don’t get me wrong — I am very excited about this new baby, and just as amazed as the last 2 times that I indeed am growing a new little human being that will join our family. I can’t wait to meet the little guy and see what he is like, and see who he looks like, and what his personality is like. I am super excited that our family will add another beautiful baby boy. That being said, some of the things that I stressed about with the 1st 2 babies I am just not stressed about. I now know that the baby just needs the co-sleeper in our room for the first few months. The baby won’t care or notice if his room isn’t perfect until he is quite a bit older. I have all the equipment and know what I need, what works and what is just a waste of money. I am not so stressed about all the little things as I have been through this 2 other times.
I also feel like just putting my head down, and getting as much work done before the baby comes will allow me to really focus on the baby once he is here. His timing is actually coincidentally really good from a business perspective. People are not really thinking small business tools in December. They are more focused on holidays and family, and all the consumerism that goes along with the holidays. So being indisposed for a few weeks in December won’t be quite as hard on me and the business as if it happened during one of our really busy times. That being said, I won’t get a 3 month maternity “leave”. That’s just simply impossible when you run a company. But I will be able to have a lot of flexibility and work from home, take conference calls instead of in person meetings, and even have the flexibility to bring the baby to the office when he is very little.
I guess as I approach D day I just need to deal with giving up control and letting my body and the new baby take that control. Ultimately that may be my biggest problem — relinquishing the control. But for the time being I press on, committed to keeping my career, business and personal life all going full steam ahead!