We shouldn’t celebrate our kids on Facebook? What?

18 May

I read the kookiest post this morning called Get Your Kid Off Your Facebook Page.  Apparently if you have ever used one of your child’s photos as your profile photo on Facebook – you are hiding behind your child, and are recreating an old 1950s era set of values where you as a woman are nothing more than your children.  Really? Really?

First of all I think it is good to make one distinction: If you use Facebook for business reasons, then your child does not belong anywhere accessible to your business network. BUT if you use Facebook purely for connecting with friends and family (as I do – LinkedIn is my business networking site) then I think you can put whatever you want as your profile picture. My kids are one of the most important aspects of my life — and frankly I am proud of them and think they are beautiful (as all parents think of their children). Why wouldn’t I want that to be a piece of me on Facebook?

Apparently this blogger thinks that if we as moms post pics of our kids on Facebook we signal to others that we can do nothing but talk about our kids. Really? Seriously? I can tell you as a business person, as an individual, I have too many things to talk about — and not enough time. I am smart enough to know when to talk about my kids and when not to. Anyone who is not — has bigger issues than whether they post their kids pictures on Facebook. I can’t help but wonder whether the woman who wrote this post has children. What do you think?

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9 Responses to “We shouldn’t celebrate our kids on Facebook? What?”

  1. baby nursery decoration May 20, 2009 at 5:44 pm #

    Wow! Absolutely ridiculous! So wanting to show off your kids means that you have no life other than being a mom? This is such a crazy idea. If you can’t be proud about your kids in front of your friends, where can you? Are we supposed to pretend we don’t have them?

  2. momof3getshealthy June 7, 2009 at 5:04 am #

    I couldn’t agree more. I have 3 fabulous kids and my facebook is mostly for my friends and family. They all love it when I post a picture of my kids as my default. Great blog, just found it and I am reading up. Thanks for the good reads.

  3. Craig Giffen October 15, 2009 at 11:51 pm #

    If you have a common name (especially if you changed your name upon marriage) and would like old friends to be able to find you, the profile photo GREATLY helps out.

    When it comes to receiving friend requests, my only issue with the only-kids-as-profile picture issue is that I didn’t grow up with your kids, I grew up with you! (well, not you personally!) At the very least, have a photo of yourself somewhere in your photos. I’ve had to accept friend requests just so I could look at the person’s photos just to figure out who they were.

  4. Whole9 November 2, 2009 at 7:24 am #

    I don’t think there’s anything wrong with ‘celebrating’ your kids on FB but ‘celebrating’ does not mean you have to post pictures. I know that this viewpoint may put me in the minority but if pedophiles hang out in chatrooms to find young victims, why wouldn’t they try to use FB to locate victims as well? Between the 3rd party agreements FB has with advertisers, the ability of hackers to get around privacy settings, and the multitude of schemes and scandals that continue to come to light – I just don’t think it’s wise or safe to post pictures of children on the internet.

    Facebook can use your pictures for ads, no permission required
    http://opinion.latimes.com/opinionla/2009/07/facebook-can-use-your-pictures-for-ads-no-permission-required.html

    Surprise! Wife’s face used in Facebook Single’s Ad
    http://redtape.msnbc.com/2009/07/hey-peter-the-ad-said-hot-singles-are-waiting-for-you-he-might-have-dismissed-the-advertisement-which-appeared-on-his-fa.html

    US Family turned into advertising
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8094420.stm

    • sabyberry November 2, 2009 at 9:19 am #

      Thanks for the comment. I think there are different level of trust people have online. I myself have pictures in all different forms online (all private behind passwords) of my family, as this is how i share with family members who don’t live nearby. At a certain point I think its about your ability to live in an increasingly online world – or not. Everyone has a choice, and everyone’s choice should be respected.

  5. Kleinman November 8, 2009 at 12:09 pm #

    You’ll note that in the article that the author didn’t say that it was strange that women were uploading pictures of their children to their facebook profiles. She simply said that it was strange (or telling, I guess) that women were using a picture of their child(ren) instead of using a picture of themselves for their PRIMARY Profile Picture. Everyone gets only one Profile Picture. Should it not represent you? It is called Facebook, whose face best represents you? Your own or your childrens’?

    • sabyberry November 18, 2009 at 8:28 am #

      Thanks for the comment — I believe that people should be able to decide who and what image represents them, no?

  6. Jen October 15, 2010 at 9:22 am #

    Having worked extensively in social media, I can tell you that many users have discovered that a profile photo is seen by one’s friends more often than any other piece of associated content (a particular photo, status update, comment etc.). So if you have a photo or a piece of news that you really want to share, your profile photo makes an excellent billboard, so to speak.

    Want to share solidarity with Iranian protesters? Make your profile photo green (remember that one, anybody?)Want to share baby news? Put baby in your profile photo. Wedding news? Put a wedding photo in your profile photo. Since marriages and children are simply among the biggest news people ever have to share, it just doesn’t seem like a shocker–or even much of a cultural commentary on anything besides having far-flung family and friends–that FB-ers use their profile photos to help broadcast their news via an image. Big deal. What about dads who do the same thing? Tons of them do! Does it mean they are gender-confused? The whole criticism is quite pointless.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. I’m not your friend – don’t be mine « Mommy CEO - October 15, 2010

    […] who put our kids pictures instead of our own in our profile.  You can read my post on the topic here.  Here is what interests me and amazes me. I continue to get people who want to comment, and say […]

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